The 2014 Winter Olympic games are just a snowball’s throw away – and if you live anywhere outside Russia, you will need to shoot that snowball through a cannon. If you’ve ever dreamed of competing in the Olympics, especially these Sochi Games, there’s still hope for you. Here are 4 steps to making yourself shipshape and bristol fashion for the upcoming freezathon.
1. You’ve Got to Train for 4 to 8 Years…
And that’s even before you make the team. So if you had high hopes of competing in these Olympic games, maybe turn your sites to the United States oval office. While you’re president for either four or eight years, depending on your approval rating, you can spend all your free time training for the next Olympics.
2. Do You Get Sick of Home or Homesick?
While training and competing, the Olympiads are separated from their families for long stretches (pun intended) of time. The competitors must decide how to balance their personal and athletic lives. So if you were one of those people who cried getting dropped off at summer camp and came home the next day (guilty as charged), maybe the Olympics aren’t for you. But, if you can’t stand your folks, maybe the Olympics are your Shangri-La.
3. Birds of a Feather Freeze Together
Olympic athletes also receive an entourage of trainers to help them prepare for the grueling competition. These can include a nutritionist, exercise specialist, a coach, and a sports medicine shaman. By committee, these trainers will help devise training schedules targeted at improving weaknesses and boosting strengths. Also, if you do get homesick, as an Olympiad you can hire your family as your expert team: that way you never need to be free of their lovingly nagging voices.
4. Rockabye, Baby Olympiad
This is far and away the hardest part of becoming an Olympic athlete: sleep. While training, Olympic athletes must sleep 8 to 10 hours a night, and stay asleep! No late night snacks, no bed-light reading, nothing but zzz’s. So, I pose the question to you: do you have what it takes to do nothing?
There ya have it, folks. If you’re extraordinarily talented at an Olympic sport like luge or the biathlon (no bikes involved in this one), and aren’t frightened by the foregoing challenges, get into gear now for the next winter Olympics. Dogfunk has all the gear you need for the slopes, and when you use a Dogfunk coupon code, you’ll save those precious dollars for a plain ticket to the next Olympic destination. Now, go make America proud!