As you may or may not have heard, yesterday was April Fool’s Day, and the pranks customarily executed thereon got the better of leagues of gullible people, your writer included. But the most disappointing prank was pulled by the illustrious and eccentric George Takei, best known as Sulu from the hit franchise Star Trek: via Huffington Post breaking news and to joyous fanfare, good old George announced that he would be hosting Saturday Night Live sometime in the imminent future. This turned out to be nothing more than hyperspace hijinks, and George admitted later that the pronouncement was made in the spirit of the holiday. And yet it is no joke that this man deserves to join the pantheon of celebrities invited to host that candid sketch show. Here are 7 reasons why.
1. His Work on Star Trek Was Iconic
George Takei’s stoic but adamant, and sometimes goofy, portrayal of Hikaru Sulu on the Starship Enterprise was nothing less than triumphant. His undying devotion to his crewmembers was valiant, and his crackly, basso-ultimo, pop-rock voice was unparalleled. He embodied that role for 51 of the 79 original episodes, and then reprised it for the 6 Star Trek features. Will Shatner (James T. Kirk, or something) got to be on S.N.L., and all he could say to his “fans” was “Get a life.” Hiss, boo.
2. He’s Got a Catchphrase
Paris Hilton had “That’s hot,” Steven Segal had “You’ve run into trouble now, son,” and Michael Phelps had “bubble bubble bubble.” All these catchphrases are super lame compared to Takei’s “Oh my!” It’s been parodied on Family Guy and countless memes –the true testament of a slogan’s merit.
3. He Cares about How You Smell
Does Alec Baldwin give a whiff if you have b.o.? Does Zak Galifianakis look like he showers? Jennifer Lawrence is a major proponent of bodily emissions, so she probably couldn’t care less. But George is different: he’s released a unisex fragrance called “Eau My” (pronounced like the catch phrase) that is a must-use before enjoying a night of earthly delights. Find bottles of the stuff on Amazon, where you can use coupon for sensational scented savings.
4. He's a Determined and Hardworking Social Activist
All joking aside (for just a brief moment), George Takei is a major proponent of gay rights and Japanese-American relations. He employs his social media platforms for effecting change and always on behalf of the greater good, which can’t be said of all celebrities these days. For his dedication to important causes, and his fearlessness when opposing oppressive standards, George Takei deserves our attention.
5. He's Not a Picky Eater
Unlike many S.N.L. hosts who demand their V.I.P. lounges be stocked exclusively with caviar and champagne, George Takei will eat almost anything placed on a table in front of him. For instance, see how he devours this locust on the show “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.” What a standup, sit down, open wide kind of guy.
6. He's Gonna Be on Broadway (Soon?)
Not only has he mastered the art of acting for the camera, but George Takei will be gracing the Broadway boards with his new musical “Allegiance.” The play is based on real-life trials he and his family experienced living in a WWII internment camp. The play broke box-office records at the Old Globe in San Diego, where the musical performed to packed houses night after night; surely George has the chops to deliver the yucks in front of a few dozen S.N.L. groundlings.
7. He Has Taste!
When it comes to literature, George Takei spares no intellectual expense. He reads only the most dense, demanding, high-brow, academically-endorsed tracts and treatises; he scans every scholarly screed with scrutiny; and...well, he also gives "Fifty Shades of Gray" the time of day. But the way George narrates those sweat-dripping words, they're almost bearable. A wonder what he could do with some of the dirty things said on late night T.V. sketch comedy shows...
Say it is so, George. Say one day you'll fulfill your April Fool's Day prophecy and prove yourself wrong (right). S.N.L. won't not be the same without you since you reneged on your fake acceptance of a non-existence hosting position.