If you’re like I am, you’re so addicted to the thrill of receiving packages in the mail that you start ordering them under a false name so that when they arrive, you feel as though you’ve got a secret admirer showering you with luxurious affections. If you’re not entirely like me, but still enjoy a bountiful surprise every once in a while, why not sign up for a monthly gift box club?
Maybe it’s because you don’t know what they are. Well, you’re in luck, because I do: subscription gift boxes are prepared packages sent straight from paradise, filled with delightful and eclectic goodies to satisfy your common and / or curious appetites. Some are stuffed with food, others with wines; some with toys, others with dog toys (which humans can also chew on if they are so inclined, though it is not recommended).
Subscription rates vary, but once you sign up, you can reliably expect your gift box to arrive on the date(s) you scheduled it for. Now, the options are endless, so to make your buying decisions much easier, here are 9 of my favorite gift boxes.
Love With Food
Man cannot live by bread alone. Man also needs Love With Food. For only $10 a month, Love With Food will send you a box filled with natural and organic snacks for your enjoyment, as well as a meal to a hungry child in the United States. With a Tasting Box, you can receive eight new snacks a month, and with the Deluxe Box you’ll receive between 16 and 20, and donate two meals instead of one. It’s filling for everyone.
Some kind of new-age, yuppie birdhouse D.I.Y. kit, say you? No, no, no. Birchbox specially curates a collection of samples of high-end beauty, grooming, and lifestyle products so you can try a number of products before you buy full-size ones. Women’s birchboxes start at $10 a month, and Men’s at $20. Both come customized to fit your particular tastes and styles, so whether that involves moisturizers and deodorants or socks and stockings, Birchbox wants to gift you only those items you’ll love. Let them. Just pretend it’s your birchday (see what I did?).
People have children, don’t they? And sometimes, they like to clothe their children. Maybe you don’t have children, but you know some children who need some clothes. FabKids thinks children should have nice clothes, and they customize outfits according to the child’s personality. All you have to do is fill out a style profile for said child, and FabKids will send one 3-piece outfit a month for only $39.95. And they can even wear the box for pajamas or something.
Is “Accessories” your middle name? If it is, first you might want to consider changing it. Second, then you’ll probably love Umba Box. They package together a collection of handmade crafts, accessories, beauty products, and more from independent artists and artisans to deliver to you a one-of-a-kind gift box. You get bespoke goodies, and artists and designers around the globe can earn a living wage. Everyone wins. That’s cause for celebration, and for ordering an Umba Box.
Fellow men, lend me your eyes! Do you struggle with shopping? Do changing rooms frighten you almost as much as changing? Despair not, for there is hope yet. Allow me to introduce you to Trunk Club, here to alleviate the pains of clothes shopping. After signing up, Trunk Club will have you fill out a style survey and match you with your own personal stylist. This stylist will then load up a gift box for you with all kinds of articles that befit someone of your manhoodness, and send them your way...EVERY MONTH.
Sorry, I got a little excited there. If you don’t like something, you can return it. Prices vary based on what types of clothing you’re to receive, but the satisfaction remains the same. If you are a man, or know a man, in need of apparel assistance, call in the pros at Trunk Club.
I think you just stepped on something, what is it? Oh, that’s just Mother Earth. Yeah, she’s there pretty much all of the time. She give us so much, maybe we should give her something in return, and give ourselves something at the same time. Is that selfish? Not when you subscribe to Conscious Box. They put together a gift basket filled with natural and organic products to suit your grooming, beauty, and health needs. They’ve also got certified Vegan and Gluten Free box options. Get one Conscious Box, or get one once a month, it’s up to you (but ask your Mother Earth before going on the internet).
Wine! Whether connoisseur, sommelier, or amateur enthusiast, if you can’t get enough of a lot of different wines, give Tasting Room a sip. Tasting Room sends you an initial Wine Tasting Kit to get a feel for your preferences, you rate them, and their patented WinePrint technology personalizes your next shipment.
When I was in college, I remember there were some days I felt blue. Like this one time a professor yelled at me for eating an apple in class, so I stood up and threw it at his lectern, and transferred schools and changed my name. I sure do wish my parents had sent me a pick-me-up like a PijonBox, it sure would have put me in better spirits (though the change of name probably threw them). With PijonBox you can select a gift basket specially designed for your male, female, or gender neutral college co-ed; then Pijon stuffs it chock full of healthy snacks, beauty products, and living essentials; and finally they ship it off to your bundle of educated joy for as low as $25 a month.
As if dog’s didn’t have it easy enough! BarkBox is here and they’re delivering a basket of four treats, toys, bones, and hygiene products straight into your pup’s paws and jaws so they don’t have to drive to the nearest pet store and pick it up themselves (you do not want that butt on your driver seat). Don’t have a dog? Or perhaps you’re more of a cat person? Why not get a BarkBox for your neighbor’s dog so it stops chewing on your bushes? Every time you order a box, a portion of the proceeds will go to help a needy dog, like those that don't chew on neighbors' bushes. Prices start at just $19 a month. That’s worth howling about. Woof.
That’s my list, folks. Why give one gift when you can give a whole gift box to someone special? It’s a gift box filled with gifts, kind of like an infinite loop, kind of like an infinite loop, kind of like an infinite loop...