What’s that old saying? There are plenty of phish in the sea? So true. In fact, hundreds of billions of phishing emails (spam intended to defraud) are sent each day. A frighteningly high amount of people fall for these traps; and, as many of them don't have the proper security measures from antivirus companies like Avast in place, they leave themselves vulnerable to malware infection and identity theft. If phishing recipients would only read the emails more attentively they would see them for what they really were: scams. Here’s a list of my top 6 blatantly dastardly and dangerously convincing funny phishing greetings.
“Attention, This is a personal email directed to you, Let me formally introduce myself to you, my name is (Mr. Allen Large). I and my dear wife Violet won a Jackpot Lottery of $11.3 million and have voluntarily decided to donate the sum of $500,000.00USD to you as part of our own charity project to improve the lives of some individuals all over the world.”
This one's from Insurance Forums, and it's a doozy. Never trust anyone willing to share their lotto gains with you. If the resurrected Mother Theresa comes knocking on your door with a scratch-off, send her hitching to the crossroads. Also, if you get an email from a stranger that begins with the word "attention," that's usually a good indication that something is amiss.
2. The FBI does not stand for Federal Bureau of Invitations
“The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) has discovered through our intelligence Monitoring Network that you eligible to receive the sum of $2,000,000.00 USD from the National Lottery Program.”
Thanks to Yahoo, we now know that the FBI is not in the business of handing over large sums of money to civilians. They are not in the money-making business at all. They are in the crackdown business. ‘Nuff said.
3. Out of Africa
“The source of this fund is as follows: during the last military regime here in Nigeria, the government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over-invoiced in various ministries. The present civilian government set up a contract review panel and we have identified a lot of inflated contract funds which are presently floating in the central bank of Nigeria ready for payment.”
Snopes sniffed this one. Even emails written as elegantly and as convincingly as this one are scams nonetheless. Governments do not dole out large sums of money, especially laundered or over-leveraged money, to citizens from other countries. But nice try.
4. Come again?
"My brother plus I was just simply discussing ones incredibly topic, he is regularly endeavouring in order to prove me personally completely wrong. Ones view on it is amazing and in what ways I feel. I just at the sent by mail my pal this site showing your ex your overall check out. Once ignoring your site That i conserved and you will be returning to see the changes!"
This is one I personally received. I kept it because it makes me laugh. I’m not sure if this spammer is soliciting anything, except for maybe a yuck. Well, they got it.
5. Phishing Gets Medieval
“Deathwing the Destroyer return to Azeroth. There is a serious saturation point in the World of Warcraft ID(s) and it is very difficult for players to create a role. That we may delete some of the same as role's ID(s) to ensure to get a better gaming experience for players.”
If you’re an avid gamer, like the people at Battle.net you might be endeared to this spammer because of their extensive knowledge of your favorite pastime. But guard your I.D. with your avatar life, and hand it over to no one!
6. Nobody Has Especial Assistants These Days
“This is Christine Samuelian, the Especial Assistant at John Bolton's. The message sent to you is an invitation to Mr. Bolton's newly established web site. Please, provide your email in a reply message here to issue you the invitation link. Thanks in advance!”
One of the Huffington Post's reporters received this one. John Bolton, a famous American lawyer who has served in several Republican administrations, will most likely never ever want to email you. His Especial Assistant will not either. But that’s some job title.
These funny phishing emails may seem silly, but if you fall into their trap you can seriously compromise the security of your personal information. Dismissing these emails as soon as they arrive is just the first step to staving off cyber invasion. Beyond phishing, viruses and malware can infect your computer at any time, especially if you’re not protected. Believe us, the costs of securing your technology are much lower than what you’ll spend if you’re ever a victim of identity theft, especially if you use a coupon code.