Losing Your Virginity, Snowboard Style!

Do I detect a chill in the air? Good, that means it’s almost winter and time to hit the slopes for a good ol’ family ski trip for myself, my 10 year old son, and my 9 year old daughter (my wife doesn’t ski). Time to ditch school and call in sick to work – it’s just more fun if you’re not supposed to be doing it. Probably not the best lesson to teach my kids, but whatever.

So where to go? My son said one of his friends was going to Breckenridge to watch the Dew Tour Mountain Championships in December. Alright, sure, Colorado is great. “Yay!,” they both shouted. Then, silence. “What’s up?, I asked. Then they told me that they didn’t want to ski anymore, they wanted to snowboard like all their friends did. Then my daughter innocently asked whether I was too old to snowboard. That did it. Get ready to see this old man get some sick air, you little...darlings.

I was making the transition from skis to a board. I used to be a pretty good skater, so I figured I’d pick it up quick. But, with age comes wisdom, so I decided to do some research before getting our gear and then learning how nail some sick McEggs.

Here’s the minimum of what we would need:

  • A Snowboard: Get one that goes from your feet to your shoulders.
  • A Helmet: Don’t be a moron, use one. Head injuries suck.
  • Coats and Pants: Go light so you don’t sweat. You can always add stuff underneath.
  • Goggles: Burnt retinas also suck.
  • Bindings: Get rubber because plastic will break.
  • Boots: Get stiff ones to avoid injuries.
  • Gloves or Mittens: Unless you’re a big fan of frostbite, highly recommended.
  • A Pocket Tool Kit: Bindings need occasional adjustments.
  • Snowboard Wax: Wax your board every 3 times you ride.

Okay, so ready to shop. Lots of choices here. But you have to start somewhere, so I went to the site of Dogfunk, which had come up during my research, and which I had seen was one of the sponsors of the Dew Tour Mountain Championships. Very glad I did because they had everything we needed. I saved money using some coupons, plus I was able to chat with one of their experts online which totally helped me out. Plus, I just liked their name. I was also impressed that they had some good reviews, a good rep, and had won a Bizrate Circle of Excellence Satisfaction Award for online retailers.

My kids liked Dogfunk because they give away free stickers. Get one by clicking this:

So, we are all ready to go. As for you non-snowboarding virgins, are you all set for the season? Are you tired of people dogging your board? Does the jacket you got five years ago look like something your own dad might wear? Did some little a-hole call you “sir” the last time you were on the mountain? Yeah? Well, it could’ve been worse – it could have been some 21 year old girl you wanted to hook up with. But, seeing as how I’m married, old and will have my kids with me, I won’t have that problem...or will I? Nah.

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By: Peter

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